Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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