i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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