the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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