also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
