Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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