Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
