So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize