maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize