seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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