I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
