i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
