My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
