Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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