We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
