He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
