I looked at my own cervix.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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