It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
