Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize