So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize