do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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