I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
