please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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