And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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