i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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