My friends, they love my intelligence
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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