Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
