God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
