I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
