I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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