you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
