he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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