K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
