That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
