I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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