There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
