You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
