HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
