Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
