and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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