I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
