I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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