Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
