giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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