so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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