So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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