Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can't turn off my feet"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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