Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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