Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
whose parrot is this?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
