she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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