I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
