just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
