Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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