I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
