There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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