yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize