She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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