i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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