don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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