So drunk its hurt
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
