We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
